


Maybe One Day

by Kayzisu



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Abandonment, Anorexia, Depression, Family Issues, Hate to Love, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Orphans, Self-Harm, Slurs, Suicide Attempt, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 20:30:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15614400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayzisu/pseuds/Kayzisu
Summary: After everything that happened to Green during his life, he decides to take his own life atop Mt Silver, just so he could say his final words to Red, but then something happens.Red managers to coax Green into confessing, and when he finds out that he was a big reason for why Green was about to do it, he makes it his first priority to help Green.





	Maybe One Day

**Author's Note:**

> TW graphic description of self harm, eating disorders and suicide are in this chapter. You have been warned.

Green had had enough. He was done. He was done with all of it. He couldn’t handle everything. Each minor inconvenience that he faced added a whole new weight to the already heavy load on his back. His mental health was deteriorating faster and faster with every burden that came his way. Soon he fell into a heavy state of depression and anxiety. Even simple tasks like going outside, going to the shops or even talking to his grandfather, Professor Oak, made his mind run at a million miles an hour. He would start to worry if he was annoying the Professor from talking too much or getting in the way when he was standing around ‘helping’ out with Oak’s studies, or he’d worry that he was annoying the shop assistant by wasting their time when he went to the pokemart to grab a potion or two for Daisy, or having to stock up when the professor asked him to do fieldwork.

One day he decided that he didn’t want to be a waste of everyone’s time and locked himself his bedroom, rarely ever coming out too which he only did that when he was truly hungry, which was every 2nd or 3rd day. Not even a week after this started, Green had started to cut. He spent many late nights staring at the blank ceiling of his bedroom, dragging the sharp blade against the once, soft and smooth skin of his wrists, watching the small amount of blood pool around the cuts. Some of them were shallow, healing up within an hour, and some deep, the blood more steadily pouring out, those ones would take days to heal properly usually because they would reopen from the tough lining of his old champion jacket.

Once Daisy realised what was happening with Green, she had no idea what to do and she not knowing who to go to who could help Green with whatever he was going through, she acted upon impulse and went to go find the one person she fought could help Green, packing all of her stuff, announcing to Green that she was moving to Hoenn to get classes so she could finally achieve her dream, as there were no Pokémon grooming classes in Kanto or Johto and she knew that Green knew that and that I would be a lie he could believe. And as soon as Green heard the news, he could feel his heart shatter, even his sister didn’t want to be around him anymore, but he swallowed up all the anxiety choked out a farewell, “Good luck on the classes!” before darting back up the stairs, slamming his door close, and flopping down onto his bed while bursting into tears. And once he heard the front door close, his semi-quiet tears turned into loud sobs and his pledging whispers turned into screaming.

“WHY DOES EVERYONE LEAVE ME?”

“WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME?”

“AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM?”

“WHAT DID I DO WRONG?”

“I'M SO SORRY RED”

“I'M SO SOrr-”

All of Green’s screaming wails turned back into loud sobbing. Green could feel his whole world fall apart. His sister leaving was the last straw for Green. Green’s life was a tearing rope and Daisy leaving was the last thread keeping the two halves together, snapping.

 

After what was hours and hours of non-stop crying, screaming and sobbing, Green decided upon a sudden impulse, that he was going to end it all. He wanted to end his life, and he was going to do it. His mind started racing with thoughts of how he could end it all. He could go the pokemart and buy an escape rope and use that. He can empty the medicine cabinet and take everything from it at once and just lock himself away and just die. He could take the razor he uses and cut deep into his skin all over his body and just bleed out, or he could make his way up to the top of Silph Co. and jump, and fall all the way down to his death, or he could…

He could jump off Mt Silver. Green knew that one side of the mountain was flat and that the fall would definitely kill him. There probably wouldn't be many witnesses who would try to stop him and he would finally give a proper goodbye to…

Red.

Red was the reason Green wanted to do this. Red started the chain of events that turned Green’s life into an absolute mess. He was the one who ruined their friendship when they were children. And Red was the one who stole Professor Oak’s love from Green. And Red was the one who killed Green’s raticate. And Red was the one who defeated him from the championship title before Oak could come over and record him in the Hall Of Fame. And Red was the reason Green wanted to end it all from the top of Mt Silver.

Green knew that he wanted Red to be the final person he wants to sees and says goodbye to before he ends his life, so Mt Silver was the most logical place for him to do so.

So Green got ready. He spiked his haired like he used to, grabbing his champion jacket and putting it on, looking in the mirror and checking to see if he still looked deathly thin, which he thankfully didn't, due to the thick insulation of the champion jacket.

Green was about to leave but he couldn't take his eyes off of his reflection. He refused to look at it almost a year ago because he could see how his appearance started to degrade, but he just couldn't help it today. First, he started at his face. His skin was papery and pale, he presumed that it was from not going out in the sun and from the lack of food he was getting. He also had massive bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep, and his eyes were also red and puffy from all the crying he did earlier that very same day. Green’s eyes started to wander down further. His champion jacket created an illusion of weight so he decided to take it off, followed by his button up, and then his pants. He stared at his almost naked figure in the reflection with disgust. The skin on his chest was almost as white as snow. He brushed his had over his collarbone and felt how thin and flakey his skin was and it was just, gross. He took a look at his stomach and the slight made him sick. His stomach was sunken in and his ribs wear clearly visible. He could count each individual rib because of his weak sunken skin. He needed to take his attention to the revolting sight so he moved it to his wrists, which weren't that much better. Both of them were littered with thousands of scars, some small and some deep. Some of the scars were reopening from when he took off his jacket. He didn't even want to look at himself again, so he turned around, got dressed, grabbed his pokemon and left.

As soon as he went outside he decided to drop by Oak’s lab.

“Hey Gramps!” shouted Green, trying to act as if he was fine even though he noticed that his voice was very weak. He heard a long sigh that he knew was the professors, followed by, “Green. What do you want.” Green could tell that his grandfather was still very annoyed by him, but it wasn't a surprise to the ginger.

 

“I,” Green could feel his voice croak, “I need you to look after my pokemon for a while I got out,” he said placing the pokeballs on his grandfather's bench, the very same one he got his very first pokemon, all those years ago.

“Oh but I need my Eevee and my Pidgeot”

“Sure. Whatever you want” replied Oak in an annoyed tone, not paying any real attention to his clearly broken grandson.

Green took back the two pokemon and walked outside, letting out the two creatures.

“Pidgeot. I need to go to Mt Silver” Green spoke softly to his pokemon. His Pidgeot replied with a coo before letting Green hop on his back.

During the flight to Mt Silver, Green started to think about what he was going to say to Red. He wasn't sure how he wanted to say goodbye to Red. He could be nice and thank him for all of the fun they used to have together or, he could yell and scream at Red. He could just yell at him and tell him that it was all his fault. It was him who made Green antisocial and make Green anorexic and made him cut. It was Red's fault that everyone ignored Green and looked at him as though he was nothing. It was Red's fault that Green believed that he could never amount to anything ever again. And it was Red's fault Green wanted to end his life. It was Red’s fault for all the suffering Green had gone through. If Red wasn't around, Green would be happy. His grandfather would love him, his beloved raticate would still be alive, and he would still be the champion. Everyone would flock from all around the world to challenge him. He could be the strongest trainer in the entire world, beloved by everybody. if it wasn't for Red...

After a while, Green realized they were close to Mt SIlver. Close to Red. Close to the end. Green could start to feel the cold of the snow on the peak of Mt Silver. Green started thinking about Red. He missed Red. He really did. Green could feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

“Red..” Said the ginger into the cold winter storms.

Not long after that Green’s pidgeot had a touch landing on top of Mt Silver. Green called his pidgeot back, kissing the pokeball before whispering “I'm sorry” to it. He then looked over at the Eevee.

“I'm sorry Eevee. I was such a bad trainer. please forgive. Red will be better to you. I promise” he said before calling the pokemon back.

Green trudged through the snow until he got to the cave that he knows that Red lives in. He walked inside and called out, “RED!” which was given no response, which wasn't that much of a surprise to the ginger. Green walked further into the cave knowing that the red-eyed boy had to be somewhere. As Green explored the cave he finally discovered where Red was. He was sitting by the fire, with his pikachu in his lap.

 

“...Red…” softy whisper Green. Red jolted from hearing his name, something he hadn't heard in years, and by someone who he hasn't seen in almost a decade. Red turned to look at Green and he could feel his heart shatter at the sight of Green. He was so different from when he last saw the green-eyed boy. He used to be so happy, his eyes bright and full of life, his clothes fitting him properly, but now Green was a wreck. Red noticed the papery, flaky skin, and the baggy under eyes and the way that his clothes were baggy on him.

“I want to give you this” responded Green giving Red the pokeball that held his treasured companion. Red gave a confused look to the green-eyed boy before cautiously taking the ball.

“Goodbye Red” Green said sadly before turning around and leaving the cave. Red knew that Green wouldn't just give him his prized pokemon and so he knew something was up, and so he followed shortly behind Green. He followed the boy outside, observing him as he watched Green slowly walk closer and closer to the edge, he could see the ginger was shaking and taking deep breaths and then it suddenly hit Red what Green was about to do.

“...GREEN…” shouted Red, his voice deep and hoarse from not talking for almost a decade. Green, from the shock of hearing his name from someone who hasn't talked in years, turned to face Red. Red had noticed that Green was crying, he was shaking from crying so hard, not from being cold.

“Green…” Red found it hard to talk but he knew that he had to for Green's sake. “don't do it.”

“WHY THE FUCK NOT RED” Shouted the Green-eyed boy in a harsher tone than what the two expected, causing them both to jump.

“...because… suicide is not the answer-” Red spoke softly, before quickly being interrupted by Green.

“DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT RED!” Green responded angrily. “EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE IS RUINED AND EVERYONE HATES ME AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU RED” Green could feel the tears welled up in his eyes. “I WOULD’VE STILL BEEN THE CHAMPION, EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD WOULD’VE KNOWN MY NAME. MY GRANDFATHER WOULD HAVE STILLED LOVED ME. DAISY WOULDNT HAVE LEFT ME AND MY FUCKING RATICATE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU RED! YOU RUINED MY LIFE. I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR. I'M JUST A WASTE OF EVERYONE'S TIME.” Green could feel his voice crack from screaming so much. “ I would just be easier if I just killed myself. I wouldn't be wasting everyone time, I won't be annoying anyone, Daisy and could have the whole house to herself, and I would finally be at peace”

Red noticed how Green calmed down, his breathing went from loud heavy breaths to smaller, shallow ones. He could see that Green was still crying. He noticed that Green went from that solid, angry stance, to a more natural and calmer, more natural one, as he slowly backed towards the edge.

“Green…”

“What is it Red?” Green responded quickly in a harsh tone.

“I’d miss you,” said Red, trying to speak softly even though half of him want to cry and the other half of him wanted to scream at him.

“It's always about you, isn’t it Red?” the green-eyed boy spat back. Red then realised that he really did fuck up. He ruined Green’s life. He was the reason Green was like this. His selfish wants destroyed Green. If Red wasn't so selfish Green would be fine, but he wasn't. Red's had put his own wants over the needs of Green. Red had realized how fragile Green really was, and he wanted to take it all back. Even if Red had never got to be champion, or if he never got to meet all the amazing people that he did, or even if he never got to go on that adventure, and had to live in Pallet town for the rest of his life, he would take it all back to make Green happy again.

Thinking about this made Red feel horrible. But his mind couldn’t stop racing, thinking about what Green did while everyone was asleep to relieve him of all the pain. So he wanted to know how bad it was, and he needed a plan. He was going to convince Green to at least take his jacket off, but Red knew how hard that was going to be especially because he knew how much that jacket meant to him.

“Prove it!” were the only words that could escape from Red’s mouth. Green gave him a confused look, not knowing what Red wanted.

“I want you to prove to me that your life is a mess, and that you're not just saying all this to fuck with me.” Red answer the ginger’s unasked question. “But you're going to need to take off your jacket-”

“No fucking way, Red” spat the green-eyed boy. “Its way too fucking cold out here anyway.”

“Come inside the cave and you can sit near the fire”

“Why are you so persistent on this, are you gay or something?” Red could tell from Green's tone that he didn't want to say that, he needed something rude to spit back.

“Cause it would prove your point. If I can see what you've done to yourself because of me…” Red's topped. he couldn't say anything.

“...you could really fuck me over and prove a point to me. Isn't that what you want?”

“I don't want to hurt you Red” Green responded softly.

“If you don't it'll hurt me more. I'd just presume the worst… and who knows what I would do then..” Red's words grew softer and softer. “plus, didn't you say you had no dignity left, so what's stopping you?”

Green stared angrily at the red-eyed boy for what seemed like forever before he walked past Red, grabbing his arm and walking inside the cave. They walked into the central part of it, where Red had his fire going, he checked to make sure it was warm enough until sitting on the opposite side of it from Green.

Red gave a nod when signified Green that it was time and that he had to do it because they came this far.

Green took a deep breath before grabbing the zipper of his jacket and slowly unzipping his jacket, the only thing he had left that meant something to him. His hands were shaking and he wanted to stop right there but the piercing stare of the red-eyed boy forced him to keep going. He finished with his jacket, slipping it off before disposing it on the ground next to him. He then started to unbutton his shirt, but he found his hands to shaky to even do the first button.

“i-i-i'm sorry R-R-Red. I can't d-do it” Green voice was just as shaky as him. Red knew that Green was telling the truth so he got up from his spot and stood in front of the ginger boy.

“may I?” he asked softly. Green started to feel tears in his eyes. He was scared. But he needed to do this, so he nodded and let Red do it.

Red make quick time undoing Greens shirt. He pushed off it of the other boy's shoulders before almost bursting into tears at the sight before him.

He knew that Green must have hurt himself in some way, but he didn't think it would have been this bad. The first thing Red noticed was how skunked in Greens stomach was. He knew that Green was never self-conscious about his weight so Red assumed that Green’s eating habit came by accident and that he didn't want to be like that but he couldn't really do much about it. Red then noticed that every single one of Greens ribs were visible, which pretty much assured Red that Green was anorexic, and it hit Red again that it was his fault Green was like this. He also noticed how pale and thin Green’s skin was, and he thought that he looked like he was 3 seconds from death.

Red was about to help him put on the shirt when Green stopped him

“There's more”

Green took Red's hand into his shaky one and guided it to the cuffs of his button up. Red tensed up when he realized what Green was about to show him. So Red pushed past the fear and helped Green undo the cuffs, before completely slipping off the shirt. The sight of Greens wrists almost made Red vomit.

 

The thousands of bright red scars stood out of the pale skin of Green’s thin wrists. They littered every inch of the skin. Red didn't know much about scars, he was pretty sheltered for sharp objects on Mt Silver, and unlike the popular belief, he wasn't diagnosed with depression, but he knew that a lot of the scars that Green had were so deep they would probably never heal up properly and that they were going to be with him for the rest of his life.

Red didn't want to look anymore, so he tackled the other boy in a tight hug.

“Green. Please don't do this to yourself. I love you”

“...Red…”

“No Green listen to me. I love you. I don't want you to kill yourself. I don't know what to do with myself. I'd probably follow shortly behind” Red spoke softer with each word. Green felt his heart skip a beat with the last words. Red would do that because of him. But Red's life was great. He was famous. He was loved. People from around the world who come just to visit him, so why would he throw that all away just because Green died.

“Why didn't you ever visited me if you cared so much” Green could feel tears welling up in his eyes, but not from anger or sadness but from...happiness? He couldn't believe that Red cared about him, but surely Red didn't otherwise he would've visited him, right?

Red took a deep breath in, contemplating Greens question before responding with, “Because. I knew you were strong and independent. You lived the entirety of your life looking after yourself because your parents died and your grandfather was a dick and was too invested in his work to care about you. I inspired to be on your level of independence, so I moved up here and learnt to be independent, because I wanted to impress you, Green. because i-” Red's own voice cut off before he could finish. “I love you Green”

 

Suddenly, Green was hit with every emotion at once, but he could feel happiness overpower all of them. Happiness and… love?

“Red” Green's voice was barely a whisper. “I love you too, Red”

The two boys took each other in an embrace. They both finally got to admit what the both of them were holding onto and keeping secret for over a decade. They could both feel each other coming to tears.

They both just stood there, quietly hugging, silent tears coming out of their eyes before Green broke the silence.

“Red I'm tired.” Spoke Green softly into the other boy's ear. Red just nodded and parted the hug, taking Green's hand before leading him to the room where Red's bed was.

“Thank you” Green whispered to Red with a tiny smile on his face as Red slowly helped him down onto the bed. Green then realized that that was probably the first time he had smiled in years, and it was all because of Red. Ten minutes ago Red was the reason Green wanted to die but now he was the reason Green wanted to live.

Red stood at the opposite wall as he watched the green-eyed- boy slowly fall asleep, his chest slowly falling and rising with each breath.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this just after a really bad break up and i was contemplating killing myself , and i created this as a way to vent my emotions without ranting to anyone, and i finally built the courage to publish it, but sadly cause its old and cause i was in a bad state of mind, its also poorly written and im sorry if you've suffered this far.


End file.
